Tuesday, May 18, 2010

She has autism....

After what seems like years fighting against my child (literally), fighting with schools , fighting with doctors... fighting FOR my child... it came down to three words. She. Has. Autism. What did you just say??

I felt like I'd been punched in my gut. My family was at home waiting on me. My mother. My grandmother. My husband. I sat there bawling and listening to the doctor give me the required information. I got in my car and bawled some more. How was this even possible?? My beautiful little angel... my best friend. It felt like a life sentence. I didn't know where to turn. I didn't know what to do. I "got tied up" and drove an extra hour crying and crying. What did this mean for us? What in the hell does it even mean?? I'd be lying if I said I didn't know before I was "told", but it was never real before that moment.

I pulled myself together and finally went home. I super played down what I was told. "Oh, it's not a big deal. We'll just do some therapies and she'll be fine". If I said that often enough, maybe I would believe it?


  1. Oh Gosh Julie...... I have a friend who has a son with Autism Spectrum Disorder... She is awesome. If you want to, I can get you in touch with her. He is her 2nd of 3 children. She is a military momma too... She has been my rock in my journey with Sydney... always there when I need help figuring something out. Hang in there Momma... she is still PERFECT in every way!!!! And you are an AWESOME mom so she will do GREAT!!!!! HUGS!

  2. you don't know me from Adam, but I just wanted to encourage you. Autism has such a wide spectrum so I am not sure where your child falls. But I can tell you that as a teacher I have had a few children with autism and I can honestly say that while it was challenging in some ways, I enjoyed each one of them. hang in there girl. you are your childs advocate, so make as much noise as you need to in order to get the services you need for her.

    shelmo from mwop

  3. Thanks, Shelmo! I feel blessed and honored to be her parent. She has some days that are trying at best, but she and her sisters are my greatest joy!

    BTW, I love your poetry!